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Parenthood Support Group

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Lucas Howard
Lucas Howard

She Male Pleasure [NEW]

This is what Andrew Sullivan basically proposed in his latest, startlingly unscientific column. #MeToo has gone too far, he argues, by refusing to confront the biological realities of maleness. Feminism, he says, has refused to give men their due and denied the role "nature" must play in these discussions. Ladies, he writes, if you keep denying biology, you'll watch men get defensive, react, and "fight back."

she male pleasure

This is beyond vapid. Not only is Sullivan bafflingly confused about nature and its realities, as Colin Dickey notes in this instructive Twitter thread, he's being appallingly conventional. Sullivan claims he came to "understand the sheer and immense natural difference between being a man and being a woman" thanks to a testosterone injection he received. That is to say, he imagines maleness can be isolated to an injectable hormone and doesn't bother to imagine femaleness at all. If you want an encapsulation of the habits of mind that made #MeToo necessary, there it is. Sullivan, that would-be contrarian, is utterly representative.

So let's actually talk bodies. Let's take bodies and the facts of sex seriously for a change. And let's allow some women back into the equation, shall we? Because if you're going to wax poetic about male pleasure, you had better be ready to talk about its secret, unpleasant, ubiquitous cousin: female pain.

That's right: PubMed has almost five times as many clinical trials on male sexual pleasure as it has on female sexual pain. And why? Because we live in a culture that sees female pain as normal and male pleasure as a right.

Take how our health system compensates doctors for male vs. female-only surgeries: As of 2015, male-specific surgeries were still reimbursed at rates 27.67 percent higher for male-specific procedures than female-specific ones. (Result: Guess who gets the fanciest doctors?) Or consider how routinely many women are condescended to and dismissed by their own physicians.

The old implied social bargain between women and men (which Andrew Sullivan calls "natural") is that one side will endure a great deal of discomfort and pain for the other's pleasure and delight. And we've all agreed to act like that's normal, and just how the world works. This is why it was radical that Frances McDormand wore no makeup at the Golden Globes. This is why it was transformative when Jane Fonda posted a picture of herself looking exhausted next to one of her looking glammed up. This isn't just an exhausting way to live; it's also a mindset that's pretty hard to shake.

Women are supposed to perform comfort and pleasure they do not feel under conditions that make genuine comfort almost impossible. Next time you see a woman breezily laughing in a complicated and revealing gown that requires her not to eat or drink for hours, know a) that you are witnessing the work of a consummate illusionist acting her heart out and b) that you have been trained to see that extraordinary, Oscar-worthy performance as merely routine.

Why, men wonder, do women fake orgasms? It seems so counterproductive? This is true! It does. That means it's worth thinking very carefully about why so many people might do something that seems so completely contrary to their self-interest. Women get dressed up and go on dates in part because they have libidos and are hoping to get sexual pleasure. Why, when the moment finally arrives, would they give up and fake it?

There might be other reasons. Maybe, for example, women fake orgasms because they'd hoped for some pleasure themselves. If it looks like that's not happening, they default to their training. And they've been taught a) to tolerate discomfort and b) to somehow find pleasure in the other party's pleasure if the social conditions require it.

But it's not just about sex. One of the compliments girls get most as kids is that they're pretty; they learn, accordingly, that a lot of their social value resides in how much others enjoy looking at them. They're taught to take pleasure in other people's pleasure in their looks. Indeed, this is the main way they're socially rewarded.

One side effect of teaching one gender to outsource its pleasure to a third party (and endure a lot of discomfort in the process) is that they're going to be poor analysts of their own discomfort, which they have been persistently taught to ignore.

I wish we lived in a world that encouraged women to attend to their bodies' pain signals instead of powering through like endurance champs. It would be grand if women (and men) were taught to consider a woman's pain abnormal; better still if we understood a woman's discomfort to be reason enough to cut a man's pleasure short.

Doulas like Longacre, many sex therapists, students and other individuals believe that people with vaginas deserve to understand and empower their own sexuality. To do this, it is necessary to refocus sex education, including prioritizing early conversations about sex, safety and pleasure.

Kettleson said this stigma results in a lack of participation in masturbation or feelings of shame around it from non-male people, preventing them from exploring themselves, discovering what they like and experiencing body positivity.

Schiffman said masturbation can be important, especially for people with vaginas, to learn about their bodies, experience pleasure and explore what type of touch works for them. This requires a basic understanding of anatomy and terminology.

The clitoris, the nerve-dense center located at the top of the vulva, is the only part of the human body made solely for pleasure, according to Schiffman. It has more than 8,000 nerve endings, according to Oregon Health & Science University. Clitorial stimulation is a common way for people with vaginas to achieve orgasm.

This idea that male pleasure is more important than female pleasure is pervasive and perpetuated by a variety of factors, according to Miller. This includes things like an incomplete sex education that incorrectly teaches that sex ends with male ejaculation, Miller said.

While it is not always the case that non-male people feel encouraged by their male partners to masturbate, Claire said feels lucky that she had a boyfriend in high school who encouraged her to pleasure herself. In fact, she said, he bought her first vibrator.

Schiffman said societal expectations are unfortunately communicated through a binary and heteronormative lens. Through this lens, she said, society provides expectations of the masses through gendered male and female roles but does not provide any further recommendations.

Historically, sex education curriculum has centered largely on abstinence from sex. Recently, there has been controversy around how to educate students on birth control and about LGBTQ+ experiences, according to Planned Parenthood. Female pleasure, however, is often absent from the conversation altogether.

Stigma and a lack of education can lead to even more obstacles. Often, the inability for non-male people to orgasm with a sexual partner is an issue of safety and comfort, according to Longacre. It begins, she said, with giving yourself permission to feel pleasure.

This article was published Feb 7, 2023 at 9:00 am and lastupdated Feb 6, 2023 at 3:03 pm Tags: Abstinence,Blooma yoga,Doula,Julia Schiffman,Lissy kettleson,Masturbation,Non male,Non-male pleasure,Orgasm,Safe sex,Sam Miller,Self exploration,Sex,Sex Education,Sex out loud,Sex toys,Sexual behavior,StigmaCommentsLeave a Reply Cancel replyYou must be logged in to post a comment.

Compared with traditional procedures, medicalized defibulation likely reduces pain, risk of infection, and other complications significantly. It also reduces the need for further defibulation when women give birth. If not done before, defibulation is a necessity in childbirth to avoid uncontrolled tearing, though occasionally health care providers have preferred to carry out multiple episiotomies instead, though they are more invasive procedures [18]. Given these benefits, infibulated women and their male partners can be expected to prefer medicalized defibulation over painful and time-consuming traditional practices.

Almost all the women had been subjected to FGM/C, except one Somali and one Sudanese woman. Of those with FGM/C, all but one was infibulated. Although three other women claimed to have sunna, their subsequent stories included experiences of closure and opening that indicated some extent of infibulation. One male informant said that his wife had no FGM/C, whereas the other men reported infibulated wives and ex-wives.

Many male and female informants shared similar views regarding vaginal tightness as a prerequisite for male sexual pleasure, which was intimately linked to infibulation. A major concern was that childbirth would result in a gaping vaginal opening that was unable to provide male sexual satisfaction. Therefore, many considered reinfibulation to be necessary after childbirth. Almost all the Sudanese men, including those who adamantly opposed infibulation, agreed. Their view is thus in line with the post-partum reinfibulation practiced in Sudan. Furthermore, although reinfibulation is forbidden in Norway, three of the four Sudanese women who had given birth there had experienced pressure to undergo reinfibulation. Only one of them was able to resist the pressure, which was the Sudanese woman who had not undergone any form of FGM/C.

While both Somali and Sudanese informants valued vaginal tightness as necessary for male sexual pleasure and thus marital stability, its connection to infibulation was unclear. Whereas a vaginal seal could ensure a tight introitus, it would not affect the size or the muscular tightness of the vagina. During infibulation and reinfibulation, tissue from the labia, mostly the labia majora, is stitched together, while the vagina itself is left untouched.

Kim Christy (born 1950) was a female impersonator of the 1960s and 1970s, magazine editor and publisher,[1] book author,[2] screenwriter,[3] adult film producer,[4] and first genderfluid person to be inducted into the AVN Hall of Fame. 041b061a72


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